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Pen palling.

Website Design by Joline Tran
November 29, 2021
​Reading Time: 6-7 minutes

DEFINE PEN PALLING. 

verb:
​
the art of writing friendly letters, particularly through postal mail, to someone you've never met.  
noun:
​
someone who writes letters to a person (usually one from another country/state), sharing information about themselves. 

DEFINE PEN PAL. 

THE ORIGIN.  

Around 1860s, modern postal services were introduced. At that time, most people wrote letters to people they knew. Pen palling later developed during that period, but it wasn't very popular. After some time in 1931, the term "pen pal" was given a place in the Oxford English Dictionary.  

In 1936, a society called the Student Letter Exchange was created to help others find pen pals. The purpose of this was to help young students connect with others through letters and to learn more about their cultures. To find a suitable pen pal, many companies actually charged a fee for their services in which they accommodated each individual according to their stated likes, dislikes, and personality.   

When pen palling became more well-known in the 1950s, newspaper and magazine companies would have a section dedicated to finding new pen pals. People looking for pen pals would have a brief biography published, and people who share the same interests with them would try to get in contact with them.

Fast forward to 2015, the popularity of pen palling went viral, again. Many people within the art community on Tumblr and Instagram found the letters to be "aesthetically pleasing", and many were interested in pursuing it as a hobby. Many social media websites started to formulate pen pal communities, and the trend continues to stay strong. 

The regeneration of pen palling turned into not just giving letters, but also small gifts to their pen pals. "Swapping" or "trading" small items also became very popular in the pen pal community, and it adds a little more spice in the envelope, rather than the letter itself. 

MODERN DAY PEN PALLING. 

Through modern-day pen palling, many people go above and beyond with what's included in the envelope. A few examples may include exchanging stationery goods (normally flat products: stickers, washi tape samples, memos, sticky notes, postcards, and trading cards), tea bags, candy (preferably not chocolate), artwork, jewelry, and souvenirs. You can also include additional fun facts about yourself (a question and answer response is a great way to start a conversation) and recommendations (music, food, books, movies, and tv shows). Don't be intimidated by the amount of "goodies" one may include, just note that the letter is the most important component in the envelope. 

I included a video of @penpal.kat demonstrating her style of modern-day pen palling. I love how she included the decorating aspect of it and how she created the "mini booklet" with her letter and extras. 
modern-day pen palling video by @penpal.kat

STYLES OF PEN PALLING. 

Through modern-day pen palling, many people decorate their envelopes and typically have a consistent "theme" with the entire outcome of the letter/envelope. Here are examples of a vintage, floral, and kawaii themed envelope. 
Picture
@milktea.bottle on Instagram
"kawaii aesthetic."
Picture
@plants_and_bujo on Instagram
"​floral aesthetic." 
Picture
@lavendermailbox on Instagram
"​kawaii/vintage aesthetic."
Picture
 @earthly.paper on Instagram
"​vintage aesthetic."

INTERVIEW WITH KELSIE. 

Kelsie (known as "skyloafu" on YouTube and @skypaint_channel on Instagram) is one of my pen pals! She is currently a sophomore studying journalism in university, and she'll be discussing about her experiences with pen palling. 
​
What got you into pen palling? 
"I was having my first two weeks off from school, and I stumbled on a YouTube video and it was on pen palling. I think the idea of getting to connect with others over letters, especially over the pandemic, was very appealing. I started pen palling with two of my close friends, and I think there's an element of pen palling that is very different from normal text or phone calls; there's more of a personal connection to it, and I think that's what drew me into the craft." 
video by @skyloafu 
Picture
Kelsie, @skypaint_channel on Instagram. 
ft. her small business: @skyloafu on Instagram


Why do you enjoy pen palling? 
"I've always loved crafting. From when I was little, I would do a lot of traditional painting with acrylic and watercolor. Later into high school, I took more art classes, and I started getting into mixed media. I've always preferred [mixed media] over painting [because] I enjoy being able to put different things together, and I think that aligns so perfectly with the craft. [In pen palling], you're taking so many different stationery, and you're putting it onto one cohesive piece. I've always loved stationery, and [pen palling] brings you into that dark hole of stationery. 

What's your favorite part about pen palling? 
"Now that I've been doing it for over a year, I think the creative aspect of pen palling is wonderful, but also the connections you make. There are so many crafting communities on Instagram, and I would've never made as many connections as I have now if it wasn't for Instagram. I think the true joy is the meaningful connection you make, and it really makes an impact on you."
How time-consuming is pen palling? 
"Compare to other people, I've noticed that I take much longer. It really depends how much time you spend crafting and decorating. I think the longest I spent on the envelope (like not even the letter itself) was over five hours-- which is kind of crazy to think about over a piece of paper. I think the letter aspect takes longer than you realize because I feel like letter writing isn't a process you can rush. You need to be mindful about what you say to the other person because there isn't that quick of a turn around wait (a fast "turn around wait" is generally 1 month to receive a reply to your letter); you need to make sure it counts and that it makes sense for the postage." 
more of Kelsie's envelopes!
Is there anything you'd like to say to those who are new to pen palling? 
​"Don't compare yourself if you're on the Instagram community, especially to the people who've already established their accounts. Everyone who you see may have pretty posts and you may feel like you're so far away, but if you go into their deepest archives, you will find things that are very similar to what you're making *laughs* If I show you my very first 10 posts ever, you will not be able to recognize them from my current posts. Keep in mind that everything progresses gradually. Another advice I would give is to go on Instagram, it's a nice idea to make an account (if you're comfortable with it) since it's a great way to create an expression and to create your own community. Discovering that [pen pal] community and now being a part of it was a very valuable experience."
Be sure to subscribe and follow her YouTube Channel and Instagram!

NORTHVIEW BUJO CLUB TAKES ON PEN PALLING. 

Picture
by Laasya Koganti
Picture
by Lola Ajibade
Over the course of the pandemic, Northview Bullet Journal (Bujo) Club was inspired to embrace pen palling in their club. "It all started with sending out monthly stationery packages through Postal Mail," says junior Joline Tran (aka me, okay this is getting awkward; I'm going to start talking in first-person HAHAH). We've noticed lack of social interaction-- due to many students going virtual during that school year. Because of this, we implemented the "pen palling program" to encourage others to communicate with their fellow peers through a COVID-Friendly environment. 
I had a lot of fun pen palling through the bujo club last year! I had gotten into pen palling a little earlier than the start of the exchange within the club, and Joline was very nice and compliant with answering any questions or doubts I had regarding pen palling!"
​
Laasya Koganti, Vice President of Northview Bujo Club 

WHERE TO START. 

Similar to Kelsie (see above interview), I found most of my pen pals on Instagram, and I was able to create and join a community on the platform. Most people would message someone about whether they'd like to be their pen pal. If this sounds like something you may do, be sure to ask politely: 1.) ask if they are accepting pen pals; 2.) if they say no-- say "thanks for letting me know," if they say yes-- tell them you're interested in being their pen pal. State a few facts about yourself (pronouns, age, country you reside in, hobbies, interests), and ask them questions about themselves to determine whether you guys are a match. There are also many hashtags on Instagram (example: #penpalswanted) that you can scroll through to see if anybody may be interested. You can also create a Google Form asking questions about those who may be interested in pen palling with you; you can always refer back to the Google Form and see if you're interested in pen palling with the person who submitted. 

Other Websites:
ConnectPals: the largest and most popular FREE pen pal and language site on web since 2019. 
PenPal World: one of the fastest and most secured pen pal site-- featuring over 2 million pen pals. 
SwapBot: more known for "swapping" stationery, but also one of the best sites for "group" swaps and pen palling. 
​
Easiest Way: 
If you have a friend who moved to another country (for me, my elementary school best friend moved to Japan), you can pen pal with them! That's the easiest way get started, and it's really easy to approach to them (since you guys know each other already)! 

by @milkcloud on YouTube 
by @kaejrnls on YouTube
There are LOTS of "pen pal with me" videos on YouTube; I would recommend looking at those for inspiration (but of course-- it's great to incorporate things you'd like to add as well)!
​Here's a link @kaejrnls created listing questions you can ask your pen pals: 101 Questions to ask your pen pals

​I'm also going to list a few of my favorite pen pal YouTube channels (excluding the ones listed already) here: 
maidenmanilla, mihan, constance goh, quiescentnotes, 桃 daisy, yizhen, & peachymin!
*note that most of these youtubers have content OTHER than pen palling, so you may need to scroll down to see their pen pal content*

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES
+ BUDGET FRIENDLY OPTIONS. 

by @sofis.way on YouTube
​For Paper, I would personally recommend the Kokuyo Campus Loose Leaf Lined Paper, but any other loose leaf paper you get from your local store works fine as well! 
I have a minor obsession with brown envelopes; I usually get these A7 Brown Kraft Paper Envelope (5 x 7) from Amazon. But honestly, any envelope works fine; you can even make your own! For a while, I was actually using the Pen+Gear's Security Envelopes. 
For additional stationery (stickers, washi tape, memos, paper doilies), I recommend shopping on AliExpress. They have super cheap stationery, and they have a lot of variety. Some of my favorites stores are JIANWU Store, Marqueur Store, Mr. Paper Official Store, Mohamm Store, and SIXONE Store. 
For Brush Lettering, the Tombow Dual Brush Pens (my favorites are the pastel palette) have great quality brush pens. They have over 108 colors to choose from, and they have two tips within the pen: the bullet tip and the brush tip. 
 ** A more affordable alternative to this are the Crayola Supertips: has a wide range in color and has a firm, easy-going tip when brush lettering. 
For Writing, the Pentel Energel Liquid Gel Pen in 0.5 mm has smooth, smear-free ink. 
**  A slightly more affordable alternative to this are the Pilot G2 Gel Pens: very smooth ink, however, it smears a bit more than the Pentel Energel Liquid Gel Pen, especially when you highlight. 
photo credits: @JetPens on YouTube and Instagram

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. 

How long should my letters be? 
I feel like this all depends on who you're pen palling with and their preference. Most people who pen pal believe the letter is the most important component, so I'd recommend starting off with 2-4 pages (2 pages: front and back of one sheet of paper). If a pen pal doesn't enjoy long letters as much as exchanging stationery, they're probably more into "swapping" than actually pen palling. 

Is pen palling safe? 
Generally, I believe pen palling is a lot more safe than you think-- especially if you're writing to a person that lives far from you. As a safe start, pen palling with someone you know in real life can help take that insecurity away. Most people are very friendly, and I do think that people on Instagram are a lot more cautious than the other pen palling websites I recommended.

What should I include in my first letter? 
You should write majority of your letter about yourself! Tell your pen pal about how you're doing, your interests/hobbies, the food you like, and your favorite tv shows, music, or books. Ask them a few questions about them in your first letter; that way, it'll keep them more engaged. If otherwise, I would suggest writing at least 5 questions to your pen pal and asking them to answer in their letter. 

What are the benefits of pen palling? 
Um, first of all, the fun you're getting! Writing pen pal letters is such a huge mind reliever; it creates calmness and removes a lot of anxiety. It's also a great tool to self-reflect: what's something about yourself that you think is important to let your pen pal know. Handwriting your letter also stimulates creativity-- the amount of stickers and doodles you incorporate in both the envelope and the letter. If you're into collecting stamps, you can get that from pen palling as well, especially if you're pen palling with someone who lives in a different country. And lastly, it makes you and your pen pal happy! Due to the long postal wait for your letter to be delivered, the receiver of it will get it in surprise! I remember when I got my first pen pal letter, I couldn't stop staring at it for an hour straight; it made my day 10x better! 

What's a good age to start pen palling? 
I started pen palling with an old friend of mine when I was around 12 years old. I think children starting from 10 years old can get started with it-- as long as they have permission from their parents. 

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS?
​LET US KNOW!  

Submit
Picture
pen pal letter by Joline (me) 

START PEN PALLING TODAY! 

credits:

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  • Community
    • Resources
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    • International Night 2020